We first met Fiona Fox at our PropelHer event last year. Fiona Fox is the founder of Fox Co, where she works with organisations to support working parents and educate managers on transitions such as maternity leave and return to work.
She was part of the panel discussion focused on parental leave and the support available within the aircraft leasing industry. It was an honest, industry-grounded conversation about what is working, what is not, and what still needs to change.
But during that discussion, Fiona introduced a word that stopped many of us in our tracks.
Matrescence
For some in the room, it was the first time hearing it. For others, it was a quiet moment of recognition. A word that articulated something deeply familiar but rarely named.
The identity shift.
The internal recalibration.
The sense of losing yourself and rebuilding in the same breath.
The ambition that remains, even when confidence wobbles.
On the night, we were speaking within the context of one industry. Yet what Fiona touched on reaches far beyond any single sector.
The transition into motherhood is universal. The misunderstanding of it is widespread. And the consequences of that misunderstanding show up in workplaces everywhere.
There was much we did not have time to explore that evening. And the more we reflected on Fiona’s perspective, the more it felt like a conversation that deserved space of its own.
This week, Christine sat down with Fiona to do exactly that.
“Matrescence Is Becoming a Mother”
Q: For those who may not have come across the term before, what is matrescence?
Matrescence is the transition of becoming a mother. The term was first coined by medical anthropologist Dana Raphael in the 1970s to describe the profound identity shift women experience during this transition.
It encompasses the physical, emotional, psychological, societal and professional changes that happen when you become a mother; for some that is when you see the two lines on a pregnancy test, when a baby is placed in your arms, or when you adopt a child into your home.
The simplest way to understand it is by comparing it to adolescence. During adolescence, your body changes, your hormones change, your identity shifts and the way the world sees you changes. It is a profound developmental transition.
The difference is that adolescence is documented and supported. We know what is happening. The people around us know what is happening.
With matrescence, most women do not have that language. I did not know what I was going through until my daughter was a year and a half old. The people around me did not know either.
That lack of awareness is where the friction happens.
When you do not have the words for what you are experiencing, it can feel destabilising. But what women are going through is normal. It is messy, complicated and sometimes turbulent, but it is normal.
Naming it reduces fear. Normalising it changes everything.
The Silence Around It
Q: Why do you think matrescence is still not widely understood?
There is still a strong cultural expectation that motherhood should “come naturally”.
Women are expected to parent like they do not work and work like they do not have children. That tension is rarely acknowledged.
The lack of awareness is not just organisational. It is societal. It is generational. It is internal.
When I work with managers, I ask them to imagine going through adolescence without knowing what adolescence is. You would feel unsettled. You might think something was wrong with you.
That is what happens with matrescence. Women are going through enormous internal and external shifts without shared understanding.
Once you normalise it, the fear and self-doubt soften. That understanding creates space for self-compassion.
“I Feel Like I’ve Lost Myself”
Q: Many high-achieving women describe feeling like they have lost themselves after becoming mothers. Why does that happen?
That feeling is part of matrescence.
There is a quote I love that says “everyone tells you that you will meet your baby for the first time, but nobody tells you that you will also meet a new version of yourself.”
Women who have built strong careers often did so through enormous commitment of time and energy. That way of operating may not be sustainable at the next stage of life.
There can be grief for the old version of yourself. But what I see repeatedly is not a loss of ambition.
It is evolution.
Motherhood is one of the greatest learning environments you will ever experience. It builds resilience, perspective, prioritisation skills and emotional intelligence. With the right support, women return more intentional and more focused.
You are not losing yourself. You are becoming a more expansive version of yourself.
The Maternal Wall
Q: You spoke previously about the maternal wall. What does that look like in practice?
The maternal wall is where assumptions are made about mothers, often with good intentions.
For example, someone might assume “oh she has to do a five o’clock pickup, so we will not invite her to that meeting.” Or “she probably does not want the pressure of that promotion right now”.
Those small assumptions compound over time.
Six months later, she may not have had exposure to key projects. When promotion conversations happen, she does not have the experience that was quietly withheld.
Women can begin to feel capped off professionally, even though their ambition has not diminished.
There is no ambition gap.
There is an awareness and support gap.
Confidence, Ambition and Performance
Q: How can matrescence impact confidence and ambition in high-performance environments?
When matrescence is unsupported and unacknowledged, it can absolutely impact confidence.
But I often question whether it is the transition itself that erodes confidence, or whether it is the lack of understanding around it.
When women understand what is happening and are properly supported, matrescence can actually strengthen confidence.
Women returning from maternity leave are often deeply motivated. They are intentional about their time. They are clear about why they are at work and why they need to be home.
They make their time count.
The transition is not subtractive. It can be additive.
Why This Matters to Organisations
Q: Why should organisations see matrescence as a strategic issue rather than a personal one?
Because we show up to work as whole people.
Research from the 30% Club in 2025 found that up to 40 percent of working parents are considering leaving their roles due to a lack of support.
That is a significant talent risk.
These are high-performing, invested professionals. If organisations ignore matrescence, they risk losing crucial talent, reducing engagement and damaging culture.
The CIPD reported that 66 percent of parents would take a pay cut to work somewhere that supports working parents.
That tells you how much this matters.
There is a genuine opportunity here. When organisations support women well during this transition, they gain loyal advocates and exceptional performers.
You give support. You gain exponentially.
Beyond Policy
Q: What does meaningful support from organisations look like in practice?
Support needs to go beyond logistics.
Managers are pivotal. Seventy percent of an employee’s experience at work is shaped by their relationship with their manager (Gallup).
Leaders need to understand matrescence and unconscious bias. They need to know how to communicate with care. They need to recognise and counteract the maternal wall.
At Fox Co, the gold standard is supporting both parents and managers. Managers are the driving force behind the employee experience, yet many feel they have the right intentions but not the tools to navigate such a significant transition. Through initiatives like our THRIVE Manager Experience, we focus on equipping managers with the awareness and practical skills to support parents through this stage
Maternity coaching can be transformative. Having a dedicated space to process identity shifts, confidence questions and career decisions during this time is incredibly powerful.
The most effective support happens across the whole transition, before leave, during leave and after return, helping women reflect on their identity, reconnect with their ambition and navigate the practical realities of returning to work.
When that space exists, women return with greater clarity, confidence and intention about how they want to show up in both their careers and their lives.
For Women Navigating This Now
Q: What would you say to women currently feeling overwhelmed?
First, it is normal.
Second, overwhelm is often a sign of being under-resourced. Where can you get support?
We often forget that we are the engine of our families and our careers. Yet we allow that engine to run on empty.
To show up as the parent, partner and professional we want to be, we need fuel. Energy. Joy. Rest. Growth. Space.
Refuelling that engine is not selfish. It is necessary.
Start small. Ask yourself what is one small thing you could do this week to give yourself energy or joy.
A Final Reflection
If Fiona could leave organisations with one reflection, it would be that; when organisations understand matrescence properly, they do not lose talent, they develop stronger, more intentional leaders.
As the great Serena Williams said:
“Having a child does not make you less competitive. It gives you a new reason to win.”
There is no ambition gap.
There is a support, understanding and awareness gap.
This International Women’s Day, the opportunity for organisations is clear. Give the support and gain the rewards.
Recognise the transition. Support it properly. And watch what happens next.
- By Christine Jones of Coopman & Fiona Fox Founder , Fox Co.
